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:iconsmokinginkgirl:
I also find that this is a very emotional poem, and I'm impressed by the way you displayed the main character's internal struggle of self-hate and despair against love. It's a very nice topic for the festive season, seeing that Christmas is all about love.
What I don't understand is why the main character finds what he's been looking for in that little boy and still, many years later ("grandchildren"), he hasn't been able to forgive his past...that's very sad.
I'm also not to sure about the use of the word 'ploy' in line 10. It doesn't make any sense to me...and honestly, seems like it's been put in to rhyme with 'boy'. Please let me know if I'm missing something here?
Now, I do love the flow of the poem, it's easy to read and quick to synch with - in terms of emotions, and the fact that every one of us at some point in their lives has to decide whether to drown in self-pity or live a life of love.
It's a pretty cool storyline that you thought up. In conclusion, it's a good poem, beautifully written and thought out. As a suggestion, think about working it over to get some clarity in it, that is, if the mystery wasn't done on purpose.
Thanks, I enjoyed reading your poem. =)
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:iconbleedthedream180:
BleedTheDream180 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the thoughtful critique
i used the word 'ploy' because ploy means trick, like somebody tricked you, and the narrator in the poem was thinking that the boy standing there could be some kind of trick (he might have a knife), but yea it rhymes with boy too xD
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:iconsmokinginkgirl:
SmokingInkGirl Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
aha I'm enlightened thank you!
keep up the good work
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